And the Crash....

I knew it! It was coming...I smelled it in the wind. It always happens. I'm talking about that crash that inevitably comes after I've stretched and grown a bit.

And I have been stretching and growing. My last torch sessions before I left yielded some amazing beads! I was so proud. I can't show you all of them... they are for a contest and I don't like bragging about a bead here and then asking my readers to go vote somewhere. That would be stacking the deck and I don't care for that. But I will show you one of them:

Violet for My Sisters

This bead is a thing of wonder and I will be posting more about it in a few weeks, once the contest with the other beads is over (That bead is NOTHING like this. It's NOT a flower.)

I will explain one little bit about this bead. It has 10 petals, which were added one at a time, all the while keeping this big bead warm and happy. When I finished this and put it in the kiln and took a breath - I nearly cried! I made exactly one bead that night...this one. No breakage, no flat fish...just one perfect bead.

There are times as an artist I feel so blessed. But my first art form is actually writing. I've used these skills to earn a living time and time again. And just as in lampwork, there are times the words seem to flow out of my fingertips and onto the screen in a most magical way... like I am irrelevant to the process. Like some Higher Power (believe whatever you want here. I'm NOT here to force my beliefs on anyone...I just know what I feel.) has taken control and I'm merely the vessel.

This bead (and those others I'm DYING to show someone) and this recent blog post felt that way for me. And when I'm riding that high, I know a crash is coming. It seems that whenever I get too big for my egotistical britches, the Universe will take me down a peg and put me in my place... No matter how grateful I am for my gifts, the crash always comes.

Yet I was so full of ideas as I eagerly hit the torch last night and everything went awry. Every color test I ran was a complete failure. The color of glass I really "need" for that project in my head...isn't even made! I turned the torch off after an hour, hung my head and came into the house. I need to rethink that project.

And just as certain as I am about this crash, I am equally as certain that I will go on. I will baby myself. I will have a torch session where I only make things I've made over and over...success guaranteed. Then I will expand and feel my oats with new color combos or play with size and scale. And soon, this crash will be behind me - just one more low in the rhythm of life - and I will keeping working at a medium I love.