Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fears. Show all posts

Friday, July 1, 2011

Better with Time

Years ago, I set out to make a focal using my favorite transparent purple and silver plum... one the only reactive colors on the market way back then! (That should tell you how old this set is!) I made a rather abstract focal and some spacer beads; I cleaned them and wrapped them and somewhere between my work station and photo table, decided I didn't like them!

Not only were the relegated to the bead bowl, they were placed in a bowl that kept getting shoved from one area to another and I literally forgot about them. Last week, I found them and took them out. I like the silver plum so much but those old negative feeling lingered....until my bestie popped by for a cup of joe. She picked them up and declared them so cool!

And so, I sort kinda like them now... Does this happen to anyone else???


Hope you have a wonderful 4th of July!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Oh Dear...

I swear I don't know what is going on with me. I forgot to post... I just have ZERO motivation. Zero sales + Zero responses to resumes + Zero in the bank = 1 unmotivated Holly. Harumph!

And just when I thought the tide may be turning for my little circle... a friend recently got a job she really wanted and there is potential to open up a lot of doors for her. I was so happy and prayed that her good news would rub off on everyone... and then today, a dear friend called and told me she had been laid off. She's a genius at what she does and does everything well. We were a fearsome twosome back in the day when we both wrote bids for some of Hollywood's hottest directorial talent. Landing million dollar jobs left and right; pulling rabbits out of our hats...we were very equipment, union, special effects savvy. Oh, how the tide does turn...

Anyway, I was on the phone with her brainstorming for hours and spent a few more hours trying to learn some new Windows 7 tricks. And whaddayaknow? It's 5 pm.

On the beady front, one good thing... I haven't been as productive thanks to my eyesight and I got new glasses. Lets hope being able to SEE the flame will help!

Hope your Wednesday was awesome!


Monday, May 3, 2010

Taking the Time...

When you get beads in the mail, do you take the time to write the artist and tell her they arrived? OR, if you purchased on a store site like ebay, etsy, or Artfire, do you take the time to leave feedback?

Believe it or not, we artists are the worrying kind. We worry about everything! Will you like the beads? Are they as big as you thought? Are they too big? We see imperfections in our own work that most of our customers never see... and we fret...Is she really going to like them? Are the colors what you expected? Are they bright enough? And yes, we worry if they arrive and if they arrive safely.

I always love to hear back that my beads made their journey safely and intact. And most of my customers email me or leave feedback in one of the public shops which also lets me know they arrived and are safe in their new home.

But once in a while, you get a really sweet note from a customer. I was so lucky to get one this past week from a repeat customer. She had bought one of my favorite beads from my hollow seashell series. Here it is:

And to give you an idea of size:

Yes, it's huge. And believe it or not, I took a lot of guff when I started making these a former lampwork criticized me for their size, the amount of time I spent making them (over an hour in the torch!) and my choice for the inner glass which is the very thing that makes them so realistic to me. And they've taken a LONG time to find a home and I wondered if this person was right...

And then I got this email about that seashell:

Wow. Wow. WOW!!!!


Holly, this is the best work you've ever done, and that's really saying something.

Can you tell, I'm still beaming????

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Finding My Voice - The Memory Bead

So this week's homework assignment in Sylvie Landsdowne's Finding Your Voice workshop is to make a memory bead. We are only supposed to attempt this bead once but I felt so much pressure, I broke the rules and made four. I think my workshop members will forgive me when they find out why...

Two thoughts came to mind when I learned of the assignment. I've always wanted to make / own a bead made with the cremains of my beloved rottweiler, Maggie May. And I suddenly recalled a trip to Williamsburg, VA as a child where I purchased a worry stone. I loved having that thing in my pocket so much, I darn near rubbed a hole in it in less than a week!

I've always been a child who loved to collect rocks, acorns, cool sticks, etc. on my hikes. I guess I love having a bit of nature in my pocket. So I had a "shape" direction to go in.

And as for Maggie May - Maggie had been in Rottie Rescue for over a year when I got her. I actually had passed her over for another dog. When that girl died very suddenly and strangely, I ended up with Maggie. It took me months to commit to Maggie - I was still missing the first one. But in very short order, I realized Maggie was committed to me.



One winter night, I had been arranging some furniture in an office / laundry room adjacent to my bedroom. I finished and turned in. Some hours later, I slowly became aware of Maggie jumping on and off my bed - something she never did. I kept drifting back into a heavy sleep and then Mags would be tugging at my covers, then jumping on the bed.

Normally, if she needed to go out, she would go over the the blinds at the laundry room door and gently touch them. I'm a light sleeper so that would be enough to wake me and I would let her out. But on this night, she was sweeping those blinds like they were a cello. I was aware but I couldn't move.

Finally, Maggie tugged on my arm and I awoke as I was falling out of bed. Thinking she was ill, I ran to the door to open it, realizing on the way that I was overcome with nausea. As I raced inside to the bathroom, I smelled the gas! My house was full of it.

Later, as I thought about how close to death I had come and blowing up my house, I told Maggie that as long as I had so much as a shopping cart, she would always have a home. She was and is my hero. There is a good story I wrote on the Creekhiker blog as well as a bit about her ashes.

I know other beadmakers have used cremains in their beads and I've thought about having a bead made for me. But some part of me didn't want any part of Maggie going on a trip. I knew eventually, I would do it....just not this soon. This homework really made me stretch.

But I couldn't bring myself to use those ashes on something I might mess up on. So... there were four beads in this homework project.

The first, I was so worried about it breaking, I didn't melt the punty mark in well enough.
Round one: didn't melt the punty enough...flowers too light.

The second one, I tried to make a free-form loop but it shattered and I just made a feeble attempt at fixing it and threw it in the kiln. And I cried. It was a horrible torch day where nothing had worked and this just finished it! I literally considered selling my glass!
Round two - the loop broke, I panicked...

So I showed them to friends, artists of other mediums who give me invaluable insight. And then I went for a long hike and I realized aside from the size of the thumb grove, my biggest issue was the punty.

I fired up the torch again and puntied with clear and on the bottom of the piece. When I finished this one, I knew my idea would work and I was ready for Maggie's cremains to become part of the piece.
Round three, showing the thumb groove.

At first, I was so nervous as I poured a tablespoon of her ashes into one of my frit sifters over a shallow metal bowl. But in just seconds I was over it and actually stirred the ash to sift it better, carefully placing the chunkier bits back in Maggie's urn.

I melted some cranberry rod and dipped it in the cremains, heated and twisted and pulled a rather lumpy stringer.

The final piece was made with pastel rhubarb - my favorite for floral bases because it shifts color in the light. I'm a moody chicky - why shouldn't my memory stone be moody too???

I added leaf cane, then Maggie cane, then little flowers; got it all super hot to make my thumb hole, melted off the punty and tossed it in the kiln.

I had Maggie stringer left over and that was returned to her urn.
My final piece - the pink part contains Maggie's cremains.

I love this piece because the bits of cremains look like mica and sparkle in the sun. Just like my heroine did!

Friday, July 4, 2008

The Affair Continues...

I mentioned yesterday that I thought this obsession started during my Carol Duvall years. But a trip through my jewelry box or my china cabinet will reveal the lie.

My first "nice" piece of grown up jewelry: a Venetian glass lariat.
My first dishes when I moved away from home: Pressed glass in an intricate floral pattern.
My first collection: Glass salt cellars in a myriad of shapes and colors.

No - this affair has been going on for a long, long time.

After my friend Bindy's success, I was chomping at the bit for a class. And couldn't find one. I ended up taking a fusing class and became totally engrossed in that. I still teach fusing to this day.

My health was in total decline thanks to really bad feet. Surgery followed by months in a wheelchair, then a walker, then a cane with tons of physical therapy consumed my days. No sooner had I sort of recovered, my sister was stricken with a reoccurance of breast cancer and the only hospital that could save her was an hour from my home.

And then fate stepped in again and I found myself the owner of the rubber stamp company I had been working for! That definitely took some time away from my glass studies.

Still during all this time, I kept taking classes. And hating my beads. I was terrified to invest so much money in a torch setup if I sucked. And in reality, I think I was afraid of having the gas in my garage. ( I had a barbeque catch on fire one forth of July. ) I was also afraid I would continue to suck no matter what.

And that's the greatest piece of advice I can give. You simply must have a torch and be able to work at it every day. That's the only way to be comfortable playing with fire. It's the only way to get better. Taking a class once a month will never do it!



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