Thursday, August 26, 2010

Renewal

There comes a time in everyone's life when you feel you need to start again...renew your faith in yourself, your art, your direction in life...your friends.

I hate starting over. Whether making a bead or a career choice...I just hate it. I fight. I struggle with the inevitable. Maybe I just hate to admit defeat.

So I guess it feels rather strange to admit, I need to start over at a time in my life when, creatively, things are on such a high note. But, in reality, as much as I love being an artist, I NEED to find a job that values (i.e. pays for) my time and expertise.

And while I know in my heart that this is true, I still fight it. I've worked from home for 10 years. It's been exhilarating knowing my days are my own. That whatever new career I land in will probably demand far more structure than I would like.

There are days when I'm dumbfounded by the possibilities.

I've finally trained myself on the torch to know what to do when this happens artistically. 

I return to the familiar. I make the thing I could make in my sleep. There are times I've done this for days on end...hoping for something, anything new and exciting to slap my muse upside the head. And eventually, something does. The act of doing is powerful. New things are born of the old.

And so it will be with this next big step in my life. I will concentrate on what I'm good at... on what I love. I will do and do and do and do until my path emerges.

7 comments:

Islandgirl said...

Love your cupcake beads! I find I keep falling back on my favorite beads .... Good luck on your job search... I have given up on finding a 'real job' (ie regular pay cheques)... I like being my own boss .. it's fun working 7 days a week 365 days of the year to scratch up enough money to pay the bills!

babbler said...

I found your blog by visiting Snowbrush, I think your beads are incredible! Wow, you are so talented. I love beads, I have friends who make them, I will foward your blog to them.
Thanks for your colorful eye! Love from "Mrs. Slug"

Jeannie said...

Love the beads.
Change is hard and some of us go through life and never find our path.
Happy Journey.

Patty said...

I never thought of change as renewal Holly, but it really is, isn't it? Best of luck to you in your quest.

Cindy Gimbrone said...

Hi Holly,

Sometimes we seek out renewal and sometimes it's foisted upon us! That's when we don't want it, we struggle with it and resist - it's hard but we do all come out on the other end and usually for the better. You're harnessing that struggle into positive energy at the torch and I love the beads you've come up with.

Good luck with your job search and yes, you deserve to be valued and paid for your work!

Cindy

Michelle Mach said...

Love that cupcake bead and best of luck with the job search. We're all rooting for you! :)

maryharding said...

Thank you for stopping by my renewal post. I see how great your beads are and wish you the best on your time of renewal. I agree with Cindy that you will get through it making wonderful, and delicious looking beads.----------------------+