Monday, December 6, 2010

Truth Be Told

I usually start a post after I've disappeared on you with an apology... but I'm not feeling so apologetic for my much needed time off, so weirdo that I am, I will apologize for the lack of an apology.

I've always been brutally honest with my reader(s??){Is anyone out there?} and this blog is also about the challenges of being an artist and making glass beads so it's time for me to taste the bitter pill of truth.

What sent me off on my disappearing act was the heartbreak of having a "big sale" and no one showing up to buy a damn thing. Truth be told, I am tired.

I am tired of trying to figure out what will sell. I hate thinking that way - the figuring out what will sell way - because, in my mind, what will sell is boring to make and is boring to look at. I never wanted to make beads for boring jewelry designers.

I am tired of tweeting and facebooking and plurking and talking about myself and my business. But I know from hard knocks that just because I built it, doesn't mean they will come.

I am tired of blogging and blithering on and on for... no one. No one comments here so I ASSUME no one is reading a damn thing I write.

I am tired of making quality in a world where people want junk.

I am tired of competing with Suzy Q Crafter for customers; These women apparently have rich husbands or some other means of support and clearly have no concept of what it takes to run a business. I know what materials cost; I know how much time it takes to make what they sell. What I don't get is how they keep a roof over their heads paying themselves less than minimum wage!

I am tired emotionally... the struggle to make ends meet when my two ends get further and further apart keeps me in a near constant state of panic.

I am tired physically - both of my arms are in braces to deal with the constant pain of tennis elbow as I try to type this. I am tired from the twice weekly visits to the Physical Torturer whom I have to pay $107 for the privilege of being tortured.

I'm tired of wondering what the hell I'm supposed to be do with my life.

All that being said, I have a writing project I "hope" to be paid for and I need more time off to continue to heal... so while I have a smattering of posts already in the works... I will post them when it suits me and not on any schedule. Since I'm apparently my only reader - it shouldn't really matter at all, now should it.

6 comments:

Christine said...

Well, *I* read your blog, even though I don't comment much, or at all. Sorry for that. I feel your pain, though. It's hard not to be bitter when you put so much time and creative energy into making something, have people say your work is great, and then nobody buys anything. I don't really have any tips or great wisdom to offer, just some verbal support, and the words to tell you "I understand what you are feeling". I hope things look up soon.

Karolen said...

I'm here! I read your blog a lot! Thanks for your honest post. I can sympathize with every word. I often feel exactly the way you do.

I don't think having a Sale really helps sales... at least for lampwork beads, in my experience anyway. We already work for a pittance... why discount our beads even further?

What helps my sales is when I make what I love. Sometimes I do try and "make what sells," but I think those styles of beads were selling because I loved making and selling them. Somehow that joy of creating came across to the customers, they loved it too, and the beads sold. When I start to feel like a sweat-shop worker, churning out what I think will sell, I get burn out and sales drop off.

Don't feel bad for taking a break if you need one. If we feel good then sales will pick up. That's been true for me, anyway.

I hope you heal up soon, and good luck with your writing project :)

Girl Power Golf said...

I am one of those that don't leave comments on blogs, however, I read EVERYTHING you write.

As far as your art work (beads) they really are Stunning - more so in person (the photos don't do them justice)

Think of it this way - what would the world be like if God said - nobody notices or appreciates it anyway so I am done with creating beauty? ...yet still... He continues because there is at least one person that appreciates the artistry of His work and I'm sure it does His heart good to create - as it does yours.

So, don't be discouraged - know that your writing's and your artwork IS touching at least one persons life in a positive way and I would like to Thank You for that.
With much love,
b

Girl Power Golf said...

I am one of those that don't leave comments on blogs, however, I read EVERYTHING you write.

As far as your art work (beads) they really are Stunning - more so in person (the photos don't do them justice)

Think of it this way - what would the world be like if God said - nobody notices or appreciates it anyway so I am done with creating beauty? ...yet still... He continues because there is at least one person that appreciates the artistry of His work and I'm sure it does His heart good to create - as it does yours.

So, don't be discouraged - know that your writing's and your artwork IS touching at least one persons life in a positive way and I would like to Thank You for that.
With much love,
b

Patradashary Livin' My Dream said...

Hi Holly, Personally, I'm glad you wrote that because that's exactly how I feel!

As you can see by the title to my Blog I was sure to be "Livin' My Dream" when I retired to make metal artisan jewelry full time. But then reality set in...build a website, learn network sales marketing, establish a blog, yes what sells! In the WORST economy in my lifetime.

BUT, how is that different than establishing ANY OTHER business; except that we used to get out there and beat the streets for sales. Now we sit behind the computer and wait for the customers to come to us. That is not going to happen. Crafters will never replace true artisans like yourself. Thank you for speaking out about imports. I plan to hang in there and keep trying; I hope you will as well.
Patricia
PS: I added your blog as one to read - when you have time to post.

Lauren said...

Holly,
I love your honesty. And I've always loved your blog. I don't always read it right after you post, but you know that by Sunday I've read it. :)
I have to agree with Karolen - having a Sale has not helped me with sales. It takes a TON of work to do it, with all the editing and publicizing, and then the turnout is blah. That's why I didn't do the Black Friday - Cyber Monday sale this year. It was actually a relief. If you haven't tried Etsy on Sale yet, it's a great tool for putting things on sale and not really having to edit or do anything to them - if you feel like having a Sale again. But again, like Karolen said, who wants to discount our beads even more? I'm saying all this while my holiday beads are on "Sale" - but no takers so far.
As for making what you love vs. what will sell - I totally get that! I do think there is a somewhat happy medium. You might love a technique and realize you can use it on something people want to buy. You know I love murrini, so I put it on critter beads that are selling in my shop. You are having fun with frit right now, so maybe there's a trendy kind of bead you can use that on - how about pandora? If you can combine what you love and what buyers are looking for, you will hit it just right. Don't give up on yourself, Holly. You are so talented, in both lampwork and writing.
Hang in there with your arm problems - it will get better. And taking a break is ok.
{{Hugs}}, Holly!